Tolbert House

By Kia Lisby

Upper Marlboro resident Danielle Tolbert is a single mother of three children Porschia, now  28 Thomas Jr., 26 and TaMara, 15.

After her divorce, Danielle became a single mother and head of her household, sharing joint custody of her youngest child, TaMara. Currently, she is a Human Resources Specialist/Advisor at NASA Goddard Space Flight Center and her career shifted throughout the years to include a variety of positions as a civil servant.

As a single mother and provider, a challenge Ms. Tolbert faced was trying to find childcare for her youngest child.

“During the divorce, it was somewhat difficult in terms of day care arrangements,” she said. Fortunately, Mrs. Kim Lyles, a neighbor volunteered to help when Tolbert connected with the Healing is a Choice support group at Riverdale Baptist Church.

Another challenge she faced included finances. “You go from two incomes to one. That can be challenging as well because things that [you] used to do with the additional income, you may not be able to do those things, or you may not be able to do them as frequently as you would like to.”

Despite the adversities, she was able to manage her schedule with her children. She kept a calendar in her kitchen and posted information for the activities she needed to attend as well as added them on her cell phone. She would also set alarms and notifications of reminders to balance times and activities.

Presently, a typical day for Tolbert consists of teleworking (since COVID-19 hit). She works from 7 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and takes care of whatever needs to be done at home. She made sure to not let it all come down to raising children, working and keeping house. Danielle always enjoyed keeping her manicure/pedicures, being social and taking slow walks through her community. And there was nothing wrong with hair and spa days, either. She kept them as often as possible and they were always deserved.

Although being a single mother has had its challenges, Tolbert instilled in her children that their word is their bond and to always keep their commitments. “If you say you are going to do something, do it. Let your yes be yes and no be no. However, if you make a commitment and something comes up, then explain to the person who you made the commitment with.”

When times were challenging Tolbert’s family (her brother, Don A. Demyers) and several close friends motivated her. She said “my friends and my family encouraged me. [They said] this season that you are in now, it is not always going to be this way and to trust, lean and depend on God to pull you through.”

But for Danielle, the most rewarding thing about parenthood for her, she spoke with honesty and vulnerability when she said, “you never know who that child will become,” before explaining how she and her former spouse were unsure of how to make ends meet after expecting their second child (Thomas Jr.). “I think we had the discussion in terms of possible termination of the pregnancy. Then, I can recall getting the chicken pox while pregnant with my second child (Thomas Jr.) and it was like wow, okay…never had chickenpox.”

Her belief in God led her to believe everything was going to be okay. “I look at my second child (Thomas Jr.) now and I’m just like ‘wow, who would have thought this child would be the person he is today doing what he does’.”