Making A Tough Call

Families Across America Are Debating Whether to Gather for The Holidays Amid COVID-19. Many Struggle With How To Say ‘No’.

By Maria Lopez-Bernstein

The struggle is real.

Families across the U.S. are debating if not arguing, about whether to show up to the traditional family Thanksgiving gathering amid COVID-19 fears.

For many it is a tough call: see the relatives this year and risk the deadly virus or wait till next year and risk not seeing older relatives again at all.

And the fear is quite real. The U.S. has over 11 million cases of the novel Coronavirus and there are spikes in most states.

In a national survey conducted by The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, 38% of Americans (nearly 2 in 5) are planning to attend a large (more than 10 people) in-person Thanksgiving celebration this year. A third of the respondents also said they will not ask guests to wear a mask, though a majority plan to put safety precautions in place, such as making hand sanitizers available.

This goes against the advice of public health experts who are recommending Americans avoid small indoor gatherings, which are driving new COVID-19 cases in the U.S. Health experts on major networks are gently calling on families to refrain from gathering this holiday. County Executive Angela Alsobrooks and the county health department call for residents to stay home amongst their live-in relatives at best and serious details for caution if traveling at worst (click here).

As people can unknowingly have the novel coronavirus and spread it to family members during the holidays, deciding to attend a Thanksgiving gathering this year is all the more questionable and potentially hazardous.

To go or not to go? That is the question.

And for those who’ve decided that it would be best to heed the advice of doctors and healthcare professionals and stay home, peer and social pressure can be almost overbearing.

The experts say call the family, tell them that you have decided to avoid an in-person celebration this year, tell them why and most importantly be firm, stick to your guns.

“The important thing is to be confident in your decision and in relaying that decision to your family. Your family is always going to want you home to spend time with you, and if they think you are not set in your decision, they will try to make you reconsider. The more confident you are, the easier it will be to tell your family,” says Jules Martinez Hirst, etiquette expert in Hannah Greenberg’s Nov 13 article for The Chicago Tribune.

“We’re going to look back at what happened during this holiday season and ask ourselves, ‘Were we part of the solution or were we part of the problem?” says Dr. Iahn Gonsenhauser, chief quality and patient safety officer at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.

It’s a matter of keeping the holiday in perspective with the larger picture when speaking to relatives about not attending the big feast in person.  Said Former CDC Director Dr. Tom Frieden on MSNBC Nov 20: “A ZOOM Thanksgiving is a lot better than an ICU Christmas.”  

That really ought to do it.